The Little Things...

I have found myself missing the little things

that I used to enjoy when I lived in the state of Arizona.

I miss driving 70 on the freeway while blasting, what used to be, the edge.

I miss being able to find a Jamba Juice within 5 minutes of my house.

I miss hanging and having jam sessions with my friends.

I miss having chill kick-backs underneath the stars.

More recently,

I have been asking myself why I moved away from it all?

I thought I would gain some sort of adventure out of the whole thing

but I really haven't.

The one I love is there.

My best friend is there.

Here in the state that I reside,

I can surround myself with a thousand people

but I still feel so alone

I feel like I can't relate or identify with the culture here

I have tried to assimilate

but still

I lack the sense of fun and love here.

I often find myself outside in nature

(which is one of the reasons, I suppose, why I love living here)

thinking....

I am always thinking about the direction I have decided to take with my life

and now I am questioning it.

I am questioning whether I really like the way I am going,,.

Before,

I have always been so sure of myself. I had myself set on a specific path

&

have done everything within my power to keep from diverting from that path.

But now,

I want to go off-roading from that path and find something new, more exciting.

I am so sick of doing the same thing day after day, month after month.

I am tired of following what others tell me what I should and should not be doing.

I want to go out into the world and prove to the world what I am and will be.

And I want to do it now!

Unfortunately,

I will listen to what others continue to tell me what is best.

I will most likely stick to this path I have set upon.

I don't want to, but I will.

Even if I am slowly sacrificing my happiness as I progress.

As far as Arizona,

it is a memory that I look back upon.

It is a memory that makes me smile and laugh.

When I have opportunities I do return to that memory

and see my love & my friends & family.

But these are just the little things that makes a girl like me happy....