A Decade in the new millenium....

I am proud of who I am

I am proud of the person I have become

and as another year has come and gone

I have done a lot of growing as an individual.

I'd have to say 2009

has been my most....interesting yet exciting year.

I have had my ups and downs

just as anyone would have.

I graduated from high school back in may,

I traveled a lot this summer,

I was in love,

I had my heart broken,

I became stronger,

I started college,

I have gone on adventures and explored,

I have met new people that have become life long friends,

&

overall,

I am in love with myself.

This year,

I have finally opened my eyes to myself

and have been able to scream out

I AM BEAUTIFUL

I AM EXTRAORDINARY!

Furthermore,

I am thankful for E V E R Y O N E

who has touched my life.

I do not care if you are no longer in my life,

I do not care if I no longer communicate with you.

I do not care if we are not on the best of terms.

I do not care if I talk to you every second of the day.

I do not care if I just met you at the coffee shop.

....I love you. I love you all with my entire heart.

You are all special, you are all powerful, you are all beautiful, and you all have the capabilities

to do whatever you wish in this lifetime.

And I challenge you to make the best of your life,

never stop moving!

I thank the universe everyday for my blessings. I appreciate everything & everyone I have. I am thankful for what is to come in the new year & the years to come.

For the new year,

I am not going to

set the typical new years resolutions

where I say I want to lose 15 lbs(although that would be nice)

or I want to get a new car by June

or I want to learn how to speak a new language by the end of 2010

or whatever.

For this new year,

I want to get out in the world

and really discover and find myself in this world.

I want to prove to the world

that I am strong and capable of withstanding anything

that is thrown at me.

That's what I really want to get out of this new year.

&

I am really excited for it.

My brother will be graduating from high school,

my sister will probably grow some more and end up

towering me even more(big surprise),

I'm turning 20 this year(weird) & will be going to school in New Zealand in the near future,

I have plenty of traveling coming up,

and I am ready to take it all in.

I love my life.

I love you.

So bring it on!

XOXO,

Miss K.D.

The Little Things...

I have found myself missing the little things

that I used to enjoy when I lived in the state of Arizona.

I miss driving 70 on the freeway while blasting, what used to be, the edge.

I miss being able to find a Jamba Juice within 5 minutes of my house.

I miss hanging and having jam sessions with my friends.

I miss having chill kick-backs underneath the stars.

More recently,

I have been asking myself why I moved away from it all?

I thought I would gain some sort of adventure out of the whole thing

but I really haven't.

The one I love is there.

My best friend is there.

Here in the state that I reside,

I can surround myself with a thousand people

but I still feel so alone

I feel like I can't relate or identify with the culture here

I have tried to assimilate

but still

I lack the sense of fun and love here.

I often find myself outside in nature

(which is one of the reasons, I suppose, why I love living here)

thinking....

I am always thinking about the direction I have decided to take with my life

and now I am questioning it.

I am questioning whether I really like the way I am going,,.

Before,

I have always been so sure of myself. I had myself set on a specific path

&

have done everything within my power to keep from diverting from that path.

But now,

I want to go off-roading from that path and find something new, more exciting.

I am so sick of doing the same thing day after day, month after month.

I am tired of following what others tell me what I should and should not be doing.

I want to go out into the world and prove to the world what I am and will be.

And I want to do it now!

Unfortunately,

I will listen to what others continue to tell me what is best.

I will most likely stick to this path I have set upon.

I don't want to, but I will.

Even if I am slowly sacrificing my happiness as I progress.

As far as Arizona,

it is a memory that I look back upon.

It is a memory that makes me smile and laugh.

When I have opportunities I do return to that memory

and see my love & my friends & family.

But these are just the little things that makes a girl like me happy....

My description....

I found the song

The Song that describes me perfectly.

"Slow ME down"-Emmy Rossum

Rushing and racing and running in circles Moving so fast, I'm forgetting my purpose Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning Getting nowhere  My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic Pace of the world I just wish I could stop it Try to appear like I've got it together I'm falling apart  Save me Somebody take my hand, and lead me Slow me down Don't let love pass me by Just show me how 'Cause I'm ready to fall Slow me down Don't let me live a lie Before my life flys by I need you to slow me down  Sometimes I fear that I might dissapear In the blur of fast forward I faulter again Forgetting to breathe, I need to sleep I'm getting nowhere  All that I've missed I see in the reflection Passed me while I wasn't paying attention Tired of rushing, racing and running I'm falling apart  Tell me Oh won't you take my hand and lead me Slow me down Don't let love pass me by  Just show me how 'Cause I'm ready to fall Slow me down Don't let me live a lie Before my life flys by I need you to slow me down  Just show me I need you to slow me down  The noise of the world is getting me caught up Chasing the clock and I wish I could stop it Just need to breathe, somebody please Slow me dow

An endless circle of emotion...

Together my thoughts mesh and weave
to the point where I can no longer breathe
I can't describe the way I feel
because I feel something so unreal

I just want to be happy...

The following song describes exactly how I feel:

someone once told me
that you have to choose
what you win or lose
you cant have everything
dont you take chances
you might feel the pain
dont you love in vain
cause love wont set you free
i could stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by
so unhappy but safe as could be

CHORUS
so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy, yea
just wanna be happy, yea

holding on tightly
just cant let it go
just tryna play my roll
slowly diasappear, oooh
well all these tears
they feel like theyre the same
just different faces, different names
get me outta here
well i can stand by the side
and watch this life pass me by
pass me by

CHORUS
so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about other pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy
just wanna be happy
oooh

so any turns that i cant see
ill count a stranger on this road
but don’t say victim
dont say anythng

CHORUS
so what if it hurts me
so what if i break down
so what if this world just throws me off the edge
my feet run out of ground
i gotta find my place
i wanna hear my sound
dont care about all the pain infront of me
cause im just tryna be happy
just wanna be happy

"Happy"-Leona Lewis

I don't ask for much...

Respect, by definition, is the act of showing regard or consideration for someone or something.

It's something I like to show towards people
&
it's something I like to have in return.

I guess respect is something we all E V E N T U A L L Y understand

but some of us never do

which sets people at completely variant maturity spectrums

Overall,

I do not like to ask for things

I like to work for things that I want

rather than just have things handed to me

but I am going to ask for one thing

I want respect

It drives me crazy that

a particular someone would USE a friend

to probe and dig for dirt

just because a certain someone is feeling vindictive.

Get over it.

There is no dirt to be found

I never hurt the ones I love or have loved

because I am classy

So respect me

Respect my life

A certain someone walked out of my life

and expects to be able to walk right back in

those doors are shut

but in order for me to MAYBE

crack a window

Respect is essential

And that's all I ask.

P.S.
Don't disrespect and abuse a friendship
because soon
I am going to reach
a breaking point

With love,
A woman with endless thoughts

I will never let you fall...

we all get lost in our spectrum of emotions

But it's what makes us stronger

and why we hold on a little bit longer

Unfortunately,

some of us

let go of that strength though

But I will never let you fall...

And

Some of us held onto it with every last ounce of love possible;

Those of us who stayed strong have a driving force within our

souls

And

Those who have given up

feed off the strength of those who are strong

and never learn how to stand alone in the breaking winds

But I will never let you fall...

I have never been one to allow someone to influence my thoughts

or my actions

I have learned to stand and F I G H T for what I want in this lifetime

Others feel that they can't do that

They feel that they have to turn into the darkness of fear

I provide a light so it's impossible to turn to that fear

Not everyone can reach or see that light

But I will never let you fall...

Anyone can get where I am now

Anyone can feel the happiness I have now

because that light and warmth I provide will always be illuminated

Because I will never let you fall...