Yesterday,
I was just a girl who cared way too much about the little things.
I would get mad, I would throw a bitch fit over stupid things!
And I thought, why?
This isn't me. This isn't the girl I want to be.
I want to be the woman that is free and is content with anything that is thrown at me, and if I discover something I am not content with, then I will work until that something is perfect.
So...
I have gone after the things that make me happy.
And it has turned into my A D V E N T U R E
but because of this adventure I have decided to go on,
you no longer claim the right to actually know me.
You know the memory of me, but not M E.
But the thing is, you cannot be in love with a memory because it will never exist again.
I do not believe many of my "former" friends really grasp that concept...yet[hopefully].
Most are actually still stuck in that "high school" mindset and still hang onto the old values of drama and lust[not love but lust].
So many people are stuck in the mindset of finding their "prince charming" or their "damsel in distress" and believe in that forever after. Do you really think you are going to find that person when you are 17 years old, have no idea what you want out of life, and still have a ton of growing up to do for yourself?
It's a fabulous feeling to love someone, to have someone there, and to just have that feeling of security.
The thing is though, you forget about yourself. You forget about M E.
M E is the most important person.
And in discovering M E, you cannot hang onto that sense of security.
You have to go out, take risks, and fall on your face a million times.
You need to step aside from the box and ask. does this make M E happy?
Is what I am doing defining what I want M E to be?
You can't include that "prince charming" or that "damsel in distress"in your life plans because it just screws up with the M E factor.
Get it?
Today,
I thank the Universe everyday for what I have been blessed with.
I am in Love with myself, I could not have said that yesterday.
I am in such a fun relationship with someone who shares the same yearning for
that A D V E N T U R E.
But the thing is,
we have our own seperate A D V E N T U R Es to attend to.
For instance,
he needs to go skiing
I need to go excavating for minerals and such.
So, I am all about telling him,
"OK go do your thing. I'll do my thing. And I'll see you in a couple of days."
Also,
He's going to a business school in Germany next January
and
I am going to New Zealand to study Petrology.
Who knows where things with "us" will go but that's not what's most important to him and that is not what's most important to M E.
It's life.
It's so fabulously fun to be so carefree.
I think in past relationships,
they failed because we forgot how to have fun with each other.
Forgot about laughing and playing.
And simply forgot M E.
But that's what this
A D V E N T U R E
is all about.
You live. You learn. and eventually you decide to L O V E.
There's a difference between the me of yesterday
and the
M E of today.
It's all a fabulously epic A D V E N T U R E from here.
XOXO,
K.D. Cox
