Caterpillar.Butterfly.Caterpillar.

Within the last

few hours

I went from a Butterfly to a Caterpillar

how does that work?

Well when I was younger t

I was just a Caterpillar

ready to be released from my cocoon

and i was released

by a magnificent person

we laughed

we played

we sang

we danced

I became his butterfly

I flew high

I explored

I learned

I taught

My wings became more radiant over time

as I learned more about myself

Then true love was ignited

I felt like I could fly the highest of all the butterflies

I felt like I was the most beautiful of all the butterflies

and I felt that in his eyes

I was those things

I was slapped down

not very long ago

it was him asking to just

be his Caterpillar again

And I thought....

how does that work?

I can't just go back.

So I flew away.

I'll return one day

but for now

I am flying somewhere

and maybe I will be back

and maybe I won't

It's my life

and I am a butterfly

waiting to be loved...

The Most Frustrating Thing...

Don't you hate it when you can't put something into words?

Isn't that... frustrating?

Don't you hate it when your heart is breaking and you do not know how to stop it?

You can just feel it, splitting down the middle, leaving splinters in your chest

as more and more tension

is applied.

Isn't that.... frustrating?

Or if someone wishes to hear your thoughts

but you simply cannot put them into context

because they are all scrambled around in your head

to the point

that words can no longer

describe what your thoughts really are?

That's frustrating... right?

I hate it when I cannot explain myself

I hate it when I cannot share my feelings

because it is all bottled up in my mind.

I guess I can explain myself

but not with words

oh most definitely not with words

sometimes words end up being the most powerful thing

my mind can conjure up

and sometimes words leave my head on go on vacation

but I can always rely on explaining myself with music

or my photography

or sometimes I even draw -which is very rare.

But you see, it's frustrating...

I am at a lost

people find me as weak when I cannot

explain my opinions

or

I am viewed as an arrogant B*&^##H

when I can explain myself

and then when I produce my works of art

they think I am amazing

and/or they think it is either beautiful or a piece of junk

but they don't get it....[they being people in general]

I am so unsure of myself

I am so lost

My heart is slowly breaking

I am in love

I am sad

I am happy

I am scared

I am brave

but,

most of all

I

Am

Frustrated

and I am wanting my relief

and hopefully that will come one day

And

I am not trying to feel sorry for myself

I am not wallowing

in self pity

I just wish someone could relate to how I am feeling

and perhaps someone else feels as I do

but life goes on

and with life

I will go with it...